What-ever!

Sadly, divorce is a big part of my life.  Not personally, no, but working with families means that I regularly deal with families that are breaking up or have permanently broken up.  It's never easy for anyone - adults or children.  I've been witness to some pretty horrific fights between divorcing adults.  In my teaching career, I have worked with maybe three families that actually still manage to stick together and be civil even when divorce has happened.  The rest, for the most part, get UGLY.  Some of them are slightly ugly and some are psychotically ugly.

So, when I read about celebrity divorces and hear their statements, they make me laugh.  LAUGH!

This is a look that says "BFF."

"Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I'll always adore her and I know we'll remain friends."  - Russell Brand Katy Perry

OK, let's define what a friend is.  In my mind, a friend is someone that you want to hang out with.  A friend is the person who you go out to dinner with and invite over to your kid's birthday party.  A friend might give you a birthday gift and call you on the phone just to chat.  So, Russell and Katy, are you doing these things?  I highly doubt it!  I don't buy for a second that you're still friends!

"And I....will always love youuuuuuuuu!"

Zac Efron said that he and Vanessa Hudgens were "100% staying friends."

Really?  Do you think Vanessa invites him over to watch "The Bachelor" on TV?  Does she call Zac when she needs to find a dress for a wedding?  Color me skeptical!

We've always done things in our marriage that command respect!

“While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching we have decided to separate.  We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart. This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition. We thank our family, friends, and fans for their kind words of support. And for our children’s sake, we appreciate you respecting our privacy.”  Seal and Heidi Klum 

So when they are fighting and throwing things at one another, do you suppose they have the deepest respect for one another?  While this is a well-written statement, I'm still a little doubtful about the rosy situation in the Seal/Heidi home!

We will always go on picnics, no matter what!

“Recently, after much thought and discussion, Ellen and I have decided to end our relationship.  It was a mutual decision and we are both happy and remain best friends. We both plan to move forward and focus on our separate lives. We ask that you please respect our privacy during this time.”  Jon Gosselin

So, Jon Gosselin, will you still be calling your BFF Ellen when your dog dies?  Will you ask her to babysit your eight kids while you have a doctor's appointment?  Will Jon Gosselin be the first person to come visit Ellen when she has a baby with her next boyfriend/husband?  I don't think so!  Lies, again!

But then, finally, we get some truth from Ashton Hairy Kutcher, of all people!  Look what he has to say about the demise of Demi Moore:

Ooh, do you think they made this cake with aerosol whipped cream?  Wonder where the cans are?

"Ashton is deeply concerned for Demi.  He still cares about her and wants the best for her. But their marriage is ending and they are both moving on with their lives."  

That's right.  Ashton just publicly said that he, basically, cares but doesn't because their marriage is over and he's moving on.  Send him a Christmas card, ok Demi?

I am sooo happy.  Soooooo happy.  Not faking it at all.

Why do celebrities pretend that they are all comfy cozy when they split?  Someday, we'll see a statement from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.  And hopefully it goes something like this:

"After a horribly abusive relationship in which I was henpecked and controlled by a remote control, I have decided to leave Tom.  I was tired of his scientology vitamins and how he made me go everywhere with him, even when he had to pee.  We had a horrible fight and I called my lawyer.  Unfortunately, Tom has some maniac control over me and my children and he will keep Suri while I move to the midwest and start a family with another man, pretending like I never had any kids prior to them."