I recently became aware of an interesting situation at my job. It seems that my coworker Bessie (not her real name!) was bragging about some baking she had done recently. Apparently, Bessie, who is breastfeeding, has an overabundance of breast milk. So, naturally, she started to use her breast milk to bake with! Apparently, the breast milk gives the cookies a taste that is just to die for. Her kids love it, and Bessie would like her coworkers to try out her special brand of baked goods, Breast Bakery (OK, I made that part up. But that is it - every thing else is true!).
After I finished vomiting, and doing a mental checklist to see if I have ever eaten anything made by Bessie, I told my sister about the Breast Bakery. She immediately told one of her friends, who responded with "But that isn't pasteurized!"
I admit to being a totally naieve person in regards to breast feeding. But is this typical?? Do people use other bodily fluids to cook with?!?!
Uh. No. No no no. If I were completely rational, it honestly wouldn't be that gross. Human breastmilk is for humans (I mean, if we're going to be completely rational, which is grosser: cow breastmilk or human breastmilk?). And it is quite sweet (uh, not that I've drank it on purpose; it just happens sometimes, and I'll leave it at that). I bet it does make for some delicious baked goods.
ReplyDeleteBut dude. NO WAY would I EVER offer anyone baked goods made with my own breastmilk. That is just about the skeeviest thing I've ever heard. I have no idea why. I can't explain it logically, but eeeew.
EDIT: Hilariously, my word verification was "unners." Like a toddler mispronouncing "udders."
I should probably not tell you all about the semen cookbook that's out there then....wish I were kidding.
ReplyDeleteNASTY!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my, this is just very funny.
ReplyDeleteWell, I was *going* to sit down to breakfast, but now I think I'll just give it a pass.
ReplyDeleteAnd the 'but it's not pasteurized!" comment is a life-saver, there.
The only bodily fluids I've ever cooked with was my own blood, and that was an accident after I shaved off a knuckle on a very sharp microplane grater.
This is so funny and gross all at the same time! I can't believe someone would really do this.
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