Sunday, July 1, 2012


I have a well documented love affair with Anderson Cooper.  He's incredibly good looking, intelligent, funny, and generous.  What is not to love?  When I mention this, people undoubtedly look at me, cock their head and say "But isn't he gay?"


I'm sure if he met me, I could convince him to come to my team.

At the end of the school year, we had "Name Day" where you could select a new name for the day.  I selected "Mrs. A. Cooper."  I thought it was very clever until a teacher came up to me and said "Heh...heh.  Alice Cooper.  Funny."  Not Alice, ANDERSON!!!!!

While I am visiting my loving grandmother, she is intent on squashing out any positive self esteem that I might still possess.  This includes regular conversations about my weight, hair, and clothing.  In one breath she is encouraging me to order a heinously bad for you dessert and in the next, she's insulting me.  If I weighed 85 pounds, it wouldn't be thin enough for her.

Of course, she does not think that I should have a crush on Anderson.  Her answer to me? 

"Non-Mommy, you can't be with Anderson Cooper.  He's too small for you!  You need a big man!"

Apparently, his celebrity isn't a problem for her.  The fact that I will never meet him isn't a problem for her.  The rumor that he is gay isn't a problem for her.  No, the problem is that he's too small for me.

Shoot me now.

1 comment:

  1. Umm Im really sorry to say but he actually came out today....Im very sorry to be the one to tell you!



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