Sunday, July 1, 2012

Was I Right, or Was I Right?

Did I not call this before?  How could Tom Cruise be shocked?  We could see this coming from a mile away!

I am sooo happy.  Sooooo happy.  Not faking it at all.
To quote myself:

Why do celebrities pretend that they are all comfy cozy when they split?  Someday, we'll see a statement from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.  And hopefully it goes something like this:

"After a horribly abusive relationship in which I was henpecked and controlled by a remote control, I have decided to leave Tom.  I was tired of his scientology vitamins and how he made me go everywhere with him, even when he had to pee.  We had a horrible fight and I called my lawyer.  Unfortunately, Tom has some maniac control over me and my children and he will keep Suri while I move to the midwest and start a family with another man, pretending like I never had any kids prior to them."
Good luck keeping your kid, Katie!  Call Nicole Kidman if you want any tips on how to keep her.

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