Did I not call this before? How could Tom Cruise be shocked? We could see this coming from a mile away!
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| I am sooo happy. Sooooo happy. Not faking it at all. |
To quote myself:
Why do celebrities pretend that they are all comfy cozy when they split? Someday, we'll see a statement from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. And hopefully it goes something like this:
"After a horribly abusive relationship in which I was henpecked and controlled by a remote control, I have decided to leave Tom. I was tired of his scientology vitamins and how he made me go everywhere with him, even when he had to pee. We had a horrible fight and I called my lawyer. Unfortunately, Tom has some maniac control over me and my children and he will keep Suri while I move to the midwest and start a family with another man, pretending like I never had any kids prior to them."
Good luck keeping your kid, Katie! Call Nicole Kidman if you want any tips on how to keep her.
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