Matchmaking

From time to time my mother sends me helpful dating books or gives me great advice about picking up men, such as that I should be wearing tight jeans and lip gloss. She sent me the book called Become Your Own Matchmaker by that Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo. There are lots of tips in the book and I decided I should share some of what I learned in the book.

1. Men like long hair. If your hair isn't long, you MUST get extensions.

2. All women should be wearing shape wear. If you don't have a girdle, get one.

3. All women need to make sure they regularly get a bikini wax. AT LEAST a bikini wax. Now, how exactly is this supposed to help me "reel in" a man - am I supposed to run around without any pants so he can know that I'm waxed appropriately? Or else, if he's seeing this, aren't we past the "Nice to meet you" point?

4. I need to make "Bio Cards." All single women should have a professional photo taken. They should put it on a postcard sized piece of paper, along with a short written bio, email address and phone number. I am supposed to be giving this out to guys. She says that it sounds corny, but the guy won't lose it, and will be more likely to call you since it has your picture. By the way, if a man gave me one of these, I'd run the other way, quickly.

5. I should be participating in "Dating Detox" for a set amount of time (for me, like 60 days) where I don't date anyone and it's all about pampering myself and spending time with myself. Um, isn't that kind of my life right now?

6. I should be trying to meet men in places like electronics stores, the prepared foods aisle at the store, etc.

It was an interesting book, but I just don't see myself as the "date a millionaire" man type, so I'm not too worried about picking up a rich guy. I'm not sure that my mom really knew what she was sending me, because some of the tips are to increase my, ahem, f---ability. I have a feeling she wouldn't like that so much.

If I pick up any millionaires, I'll let you know.