Saturday, February 5, 2011

Why I Quit Preschool

I used to teach preschool at my church.  I took care of 35 three, four and five year olds. THIRTY FIVE. No one would help with them at my church, so I agreed to.  Keep in mind, the children's names are not simple things like "Bob" or "Dylan" (Hey! I didn't mean to do Bob Dylan. Funny!)  Oh no. These kids have names like Missouaiwani or Fredizingibolb. Or the 13 variations of the name Kali/Cali/Kaylee/Kayley/Kaleigh.  And of course, their names can only be located on the name tags on their back, because I can't remember 35 kids names. Once upon a time there was one other woman in there with me, and she had her own kid. I hated that! They should make rules against that! She fussed over her little darling the whole time, leaving me drowning in a sea of children. She told me that she was taking her kid to use the bathroom, and was gone for half an hour. The service is 1 hour and 15 minutes. Geez.  Not a shocker that she quit shortly after.

And of course, there is also a HUGE difference between a three year old, and a five year old. They wanted us to sit down and play with water pitchers and talk about Jesus being kind to the Samaritan woman at the well.  Being the good Christian that I am, I took one look at the pitchers, one look at those 35 kids stomping the heck out of one another, and promptly said "Oh HELL no!"  Don't even get me started on the activity where they had paint cups for each child, a straw, and I was supposed to monitor 35 children as they blew paint out of the straw onto a large sheet of paper.

There must be a special place in Heaven for those who teach preschool. Because I'll sure never know.  After two years of blood, sweat and tears, I quit!

So next Sunday, think of the poor preschool teachers. They could be stuck in a crazy room with 35 kids , saying things like "No no, Ellebellamorganfreeman, we don't pee pee on other people. No, Zoinka, don't throw the dinosaur at her. HEY! We keep pee pee in the TOILET."

I'm tired just thinking about it. 

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