The Girl Curse

I am someone that gets along easily with others.  I think that I don't have a lot of conflict with others, and I work really hard (almost unhealthily, I suppose!) to keep everyone else happy.  So when something goes wrong, I don't take it well.  I'm good at what I do, I follow the rules, and try to be flexible.

Today a teacher that I thought I got along well with was ugly toward me.  I truly don't think I had done anything wrong, I think I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and was the unfortunate victim of a "Drive-by Crabbing."  Anyway, some unsavory conversation took place in front of all of my coworkers.  I was shocked, confused, and embarrassed.  The moment the Snarky One left, all of my coworkers were like "What?!  What is she even talking about?  Don't worry, Non-Mommy, you're always in control of your class.  She was just in a bad mood."

Then...the Girl Curse began. The meeting we were waiting on was beginning.  I could feel a lump in my throat. "NON-MOMMY, NO" I told myself. Then I could feel that tightness around your eyes and in your throat that mean tears are imminent. "You cannot let anyone see you cry!!!!"

I hopped up and raced to the restroom, hoping no one would see.  Didn't matter.  It came out.  I hate being a girl sometimes. I truly envy you people that don't cry, because it's the last thing I want to happen in situations like this.  I wasn't crying out of guilt. I was crying because I was so frustrated that I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't say to her that I didn't do anything. I was stuck.

Did you know that when you are super blonde, people can see on your face, all day long, that you've been crying? I just LOVE the Girl Curse.

I hate crying.  It happens when I'm mad.  It happens when I'm frustrated.  It happens when I watch anything sappy.  When I feel the Girl Curse coming on, I need to think about these things to get my mind back out of the dumps.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
   and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
   my salvation

^{Psalm 42:5}