Saturday, December 25, 2010

Ode to My Appendix

Twas a few weeks after Christmas, in the middle of the night
when Non-Mommy woke up sick, and worried with fright;
Her plastic popcorn bowl she grabbed with care
in hopes that vomit soon would be there.

Non-Mommy was nestled all snug in her bed,
"Hmm, something isn't feeling quite right" she said.
When down far below there arose such a pain
Non-Mommy thought she'd never get out of bed again.

She poked and she prodded her side, left and right
and realized that she may be facing a desperate plight.
When what to her wondering eyes should appear
Google confirmed her very worst fear.
With a sharp rapid pain on her right side alone,
she knew more than ever she needed the phone.

More rapid than eagles her fingers they dialed
Her appendix, however, didn't appreciate being riled.
"Call the doctor!  Call Mom!  Shave your armpits!
Shave your legs!  Pack a bag!  Before your appendix splits!"

As dry leaves before a hurricane they fly
she knew her parents would hurry to come by.
So up to Non-Mommy's house her dad flew
with a pillow, a cell phone and her mother, too.

And then, in a twinkling, the crew had arrived,
whisked Non-Mommy to the E.R. - she'd survived!
The hospital bed was moved all around,
off to the O.R. Non-Mommy went with a bound.

Non-Mommy begged "Knock me out well, if you please"
and skillfully they made her sleep with ease.
Carefully and quickly her appendix came out,
Non-Mommy awoke with a thankful shout.

Blue Cross, you suck!  You are incredibly cheap.
But I guess I'm alive, so for that I must not weep.
It's been almost a year, I don't miss my old friend.
Appendix, you were faithful until the very end.

R.I.P. Appendix



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